You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
