I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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