I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
it wasn't lemon gatorade
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We got so high we made milksteak
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
