They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
