people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I know her cup size but not her name....
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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