how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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