my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Hippo gnu deer
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
