FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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