No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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