Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
