I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
