easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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