we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
