I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i think my cat just said my name.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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