and you said cock pushups were impossible
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
