At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
