Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Are we in a gay sports bar?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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