I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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