In the future we'll all be gay
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
