when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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