is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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