Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
