If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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