Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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