i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
