I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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