If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i've created a new STD.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
