I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
