who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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