maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
