It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
