Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
