We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
