we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I love you. Go after that dick
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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