is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
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