She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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