Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
