I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
