ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
