i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
