Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
