Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
