It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
