just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
