I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
