I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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