hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
