Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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