I cannot find my penis.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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