My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
