Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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