my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
